Little Johnny gets an F in math

Most people don’t exactly look back on math class with fondness—fractions, percentages, long division… it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. And clearly, Little Johnny was no exception.

One day, Johnny came home from school looking defeated. He told his father, “I got an F in math today.”

His dad, concerned, asked, “What happened?”

Johnny explained, “The teacher asked me, ‘What’s 3 times 2?’ and I said ‘6.’”

His dad furrowed his brow. “Well… that’s correct.”

Johnny nodded, “Yeah, but then she asked, ‘What’s 2 times 3?’ and I said ‘6’ again.”

His dad replied, “Still correct…”

Johnny sighed. “She said I was wrong because I didn’t ‘show variety in my thinking.’”

Math may be a numbers game, but in Little Johnny’s classroom, it apparently requires creativity too!

And if that got a chuckle out of you, here’s another classic tale from married life that will make you laugh—or at least raise an eyebrow.

A married couple had only one major issue in their long relationship: every morning, like clockwork, the husband would let out a thunderous fart that could wake the dead. His wife begged him to stop—every day. “One of these days,” she warned him, “you’re going to blow your guts out!”

He always shrugged her off. “It’s natural,” he insisted. “Can’t help it.”

One Thanksgiving morning, as she was prepping the turkey, she saw the bowl of innards—neck, liver, gizzards—all the parts no one really wants to touch. And that’s when the idea struck.

She crept upstairs, her husband still sleeping soundly, and gently pulled back the covers. Then, with surgical precision, she lowered the waistband of his underwear and emptied the entire bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Minutes later came the usual morning blast… followed by a scream so loud it could’ve shattered glass.

He bolted to the bathroom. She waited downstairs, trying not to collapse from laughter.

Twenty minutes passed before he finally came downstairs, ghost-white, wide-eyed, and trembling—his underpants stained and his dignity gone.

“Honey,” he said shakily, “you were right. You warned me all those years…”

“What do you mean?” she asked, barely holding in a laugh.

“I did it. I really did it. I farted my guts out. But—” he held up two fingers, “with some Vaseline and these two, I think I got them all back in.”

Some lessons take time to learn. And some pranks are just too good not to share.

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