My daughter just…

My daughter just walked into the living room and said “Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, and stereo, and iPhone, and iPod, and my laptop.

Please take all of my jewellery to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters.

Then sell my new car, take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house.

Then disown me and never talk to me again. And don’t forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to my brother.”

Well, she didn’t put it quite like that… she actually said…

“Dad, this is my new boyfriend,

John came back from a safari in Africa.

Upon arrival, he went to his friend Mark, and told him of his adventures:

“I was out in the jungle.” He said.

“When all of a sudden I heard a noise in the bush behind me.

Looking back, I saw a huge lion, licking his chops, and smiling at me.

The lion started coming my way and I started running, with the lion not far behind.

When the lion was almost at my neck, he suddenly slipped, and I got ahead a bit.

The lion started gaining on me, and as he got closer, once again he slipped. I happened to see a house not far away and made towards it.

As I got close to the house, the lion was almost on top of me, when he slipped for a third time.

With the very last bit of strength, I ran into the house and closed the door in the lion’s face.”

“That’s some story there, John, I would have shat my pants.”

“Well, WHAT DO YOU THINK THE LION KEPT SLIPPING ON?

Related Posts

Courtney Love bids leaves U.S. for good – “frightening”

Courtney Love, 60, has revealed plans to make her move to London permanent, where she’s been living for the past five years. In six months, she’ll qualify…

Incredible moment heroic 13-year-old saves bus full of students after driver fell unconscious

Incredible footage caught on a bus in Michigan shows the moment a 13-year-old boy came to the rescue when the driver suddenly fell unconscious. Dillon Reeves, from…

What Happened To Chuck Norris? Where is he, and what does he do now in 2024?

Chuck Norris, once a pop culture icon known for his martial arts and tough-guy persona, has largely stepped away from Hollywood due to personal reasons. His last…

Behavior: My cat is rubbing and scratching against me… What does it mean?

These sometimes puzzling, almost ludicrous acts conceal a highly particular language. Furthermore, if your cat appears to ignore you before coming to rub affectionately against you, it’s…

This is Why Two People Are Buried in Graves at The Savannah Airport in The US

The Graves Beneath Savannah Airport – Savannah/Hilton Head International Airport has an unusual feature—two graves embedded in runway 10. They belong to Catherine and Richard Dotson, pioneers…

I PAID FOR A STRANGER’S GROCERIES TWO YEARS AGO—AND TODAY, I GOT THIS IN THE MAIL

It arrived with no return address — just my name, written in tidy cursive on the front of a plain envelope. The handwriting wasn’t familiar. Inside was…