Elderly farmer Ron went to his pond one evening, bucket in hand, to pick some fruit.

Nearing the water, he noticed a group of young women skinny-dipping.

When they saw him, they shrieked and moved to the deep end, yelling, “We’re not coming out until you leave!”

Ron held up his bucket and replied, “I didn’t come to watch you swim naked. I’m here to feed the alligator

READ MORE JOKES: Old Couple’S Text Messages

An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their cell phones.

The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.

One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee.

She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:

“If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.

If you are laughing, send me your smile.

If you are eating, send me a bite.

If you are drinking, send me a sip.

If you are crying, send me your tears

I love you.”

The husband texted back to her:

“I’m on the toilet

Please advise.”